We cannot heal what we have not heard.
“I don’t have time for that!” We are living busy lives, running between work and picking up children, racing to the post office before it closes, meeting deadlines and paying bills, rushing through the grocery store and barely glancing at others in the same line. We detach from life around us, because we have detached from a large, and important, part of our self. When we are not healed, we are disconnected. When we are disconnected for too long, we become blocked. When we are blocked, we cannot flow the way we are meant to. Our connection from within is what brings healing and insight to keep us centered and operating at our highest level.
We cannot have time unless we make time. Think of it as an investment. We invest time every day, and not always in the most effective or efficient ways. When old wounds are driving us, we may be less effective; we may feel dis-empowered, we may feel fragile, and most importantly, we may be unable to find the center anchor within us that can provide the stability we need to be successful, happy, and clear in our daily lives. To connect with that is simple, we have to come into the moment.
Connecting within ourselves is key to going deeper into what we truly need. What we need is to tap into our spiritual resources and self-tools, the infinite reservoir of deeper wisdom, energy, and healing that we each have available to us. This is much less complicated then many may assume. Just consider, how would you truly be present with another? By being still, giving full attention, and listening without judgment. In this same way we can be present with ourselves and begin connecting to the deeper aspects of ourselves which have long awaited this heart centered reunion.
Many of us have actively avoided this connection. We have instead found every known excuse and distraction, we welcome them because we do not want to know what’s “down there.” We don’t want to go back to the unhealed things that hurt us. We want to move forward and we classify this talent with words like “strength”. Yet, until we have healed, until we have heard the message hidden within those deeper wounds, we cannot truly progress. They will forever continue to influence and even drive the direction of our decisions, our projections, our actions, and our feelings about life, work, and love.
It takes courage to face these fears. It takes courage to come back to your own heart. Here I would like to briefly outline a (not-so-scary) practical template from which you may begin to come back to yourself, hear the messages you may have overlooked, and heal those deeper wounds that have kept us afraid of our own shadow. First, recognize we are living in the confines of our own busy world. We have to find a place to take time needed to do this inner work. This may mean scheduling the time, asking a friend or family member to watch the kids for a weekend, or taking a mental-health day or two off from work. There are a million reasons why we can’t, what we have to ask ourselves is, “Am I being my most effective, happiest, most present self if I just keep going as it is?” If the answer is no, then you not only owe yourself this time, you need it.
Time is not a commodity, it is an investment.
To do this right you will want to be someplace you feel safe and where you can easily unplug from distractions. Put your phone in another room. Turn off the television. For me personally, I do my best healing self-work in nature. I love to go off the beaten path to a secluded place in which I can allow my deeper wisdom to come in unencumbered. It is not the space that matters so much as the space you are willing to open up from within.
Finding the message we may have left behind so long ago is essential to truly heal and move forward with clarity, peace, and greater wholeness. Consider some of the messages you have already taken from past events that were painful; perhaps an ex-lover was unfaithful, leaving you shattered and alone. Yet years later, looking back at what seemed such a tragedy at the time, you may appreciate that this gave you greater foresight, this led you down a new path which brought you to a greater sense of self-love and helped you value yourself more deeply. You are now capable of looking at this hurtful time and laughing, it no longer bothers you—because you have learned the message. Once we have heard that message, the pain is no longer necessary. Pain comes in as a teacher, it shows us where healing is still needed, and where love is most required. That is all it is here to do. It is not a nemesis, it is a messenger.
Sit comfortably, resting your arms on your legs. Start with your breath. Breathing gives us life. It moves blood, oxygen and feeds every cell in our body system. Breathe deeply inward, and deeply outward. Do this for as long as it takes to feel yourself relax. From this place focus on getting very still, and very quiet. Close your eyes. What messages are coming in? Most likely it is the racing thoughts of a still attached mind; I have to remember to buy toilet paper, I need to make sure to send that email, I have to pick up the dry-cleaning. Let these thoughts gently come to conclusion. Allow yourself to let them go. There is time for all of that after. This moment, this time, is for you.
Once you go beyond the day to day thought stream you may begin to have deeper concerns come in; something someone said at work that felt unfair, how you felt unappreciated, something an ex-lover said to you that has stuck with you all these years, it may continue going deeper; allow this with compassion, and without attaching yourself to what these thoughts mean yet. The deeper you go you may find yourself resting on a kind of central issue, a root or theme that becomes apparent. This will not happen in a few minutes. This will take time. During this time observe your thoughts, the feelings they carry, and the any patterns you may recognize within them.
Now it is time to ask some questions about these memories, past issues, and painful events. This is how we can hear the message which can allow us to resolve those deeper issues, and change the patterns we are manifesting in our present.
- What patterns am I seeing play out in my adult life?
- What do those patterns have in common with my childhood archetypes, with relationships or events from my past?
- What is the root fear that I hold about these events?
- What is this pain trying to show me that I now need to become aware of?
- What do I need to forgive and let go of to release these old wounds?
- What is the ultimate message for me in this?
There are many questions to ask here, and please do this with great grounded compassion. Think of the kind of compassion you would show a child. Think about how we would talk to a five year old who has dropped a glass of juice. That is the voice we must use with ourselves. Not, “Look at what you did, you made a mess!”, but, “That is okay, we will clean this up and now we know next time to use both hands.”
Finding the deeper message can free us from the shackles of our past. This is a liberating experience in which we take back our power, know ourselves more deeply, and find a greater sense of self-love. Healing is a process, and its effectiveness depends directly on your own commitment to yourself, and your ability to learn from the wound.
“The deeper the wound, the higher the lesson.”
For more on deeper healing, forgiveness, working through old patterns, centering, and connecting from within please check out The Self Beyond, A Field Guide to Personal Activation which explores more deeply into this complex and profound subject, and how to apply this in your real life. Take some time to click the book below to check out on Amazon.com today!